Every time you hear a cell phone ring, an angel gets annoyed

I ride the train to and from work every day. It’s an hour there and an hour back, but I love it. It’s the only time I can truly relax. Even if something were to happen at work or at day care, there would be nothing I could do about it, because hey! I’m on the train! And I’ll take care of whatever it is as soon as I get there.

But until then, I can read, I can play Sudoku, and I can take a nap, and I can enjoy the temporary respite from being Dad.

The only drawback of riding the train is that other people ride the train, too. The usual suspects include:

• Teenagers screaming “Look at me, everyone!” (and I mean that literally. Man, adolescence sucks. I can’t blame them; they’re overdosing on carbonated hormones.)
• Otherwise sane-looking ladies clipping their nails.
• Jackasses bellowing into their cell phones.
• People who have just purchased new cell phones, and need to listen to each of their 255 ringtones to see which one best expresses their utter contempt for humanity.

This one guy had his bags all over the seat, as if to say, “Hey, I’m a sociopath, please don’t sit next to me.” But I need my nap, and there weren’t any other empty seats, so I sat down anyway. He shot me a dirty look, and when that failed to move me, the dude took off his shoes. Yes.

Unfortunately for him, I have the perma-cold that goes with being the parent of a preschooler. Can’t smell a thing, but thanks for letting me know that you are crazy.