{"id":35,"date":"2006-11-30T09:37:40","date_gmt":"2006-11-30T14:37:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crankopotamus.com\/blog\/?p=35"},"modified":"2007-09-30T07:17:08","modified_gmt":"2007-09-30T11:17:08","slug":"theyre-meaningless-and-all-thats-true","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/theyre-meaningless-and-all-thats-true\/","title":{"rendered":"They’re meaningless and all that’s true"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scene: Nate’s<\/strong> bedroom, 9 PM. The lights are off. A thumping noise is coming from the bed.<\/em><\/p>\n

We hear footsteps from outside the door.<\/em><\/p>\n

The thumping stops.<\/em><\/p>\n

Silence.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nate (in a very small voice):<\/em> Dad?<\/p>\n

The door opens and <\/em>Dad<\/strong> enters.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> What is it, my son?<\/p>\n

Nate holds up Muffy,<\/strong> a small plush dog.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> Muffy is getting wet.<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> I see. How is Muffy getting wet?<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> I am spitting on her.<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> I see. Um. What do you think we should do about this?<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> I think I need a different animal.<\/p>\n

Dad (slowly):<\/em> Interesting. OK, let me put Muffy in the closet for you. Which animal would you like?<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> Um…<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> One…<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> Um…<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> Two…<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> I want Giraffe.<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> OK, here is Giraffe. Sleep tight. And Nate?<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> Yes?<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> Please try not to spit on Giraffe.<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> Why?<\/p>\n

Dad:<\/em> Because it’s not very nice.<\/p>\n

Nate:<\/em> OK. Good night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene: Nate’s bedroom, 9 PM. The lights are off. A thumping noise is coming from the bed. We hear footsteps from outside the door. The thumping stops. Silence. Nate (in a very small voice): Dad? The door opens and Dad enters. Dad: What is it, my son? Nate holds up Muffy, a small plush dog. … Continue reading They’re meaningless and all that’s true<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nate","category-whiskey-tango-foxtrot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankopotamus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}